How do you know if you are doing the right thing for your child development? I have found reasons to be happy even if your child is restless and naught.
I do believe that a child sees further than a grown up. It does appear that it doesn’t look at your face, as they will look at it as a grown up, but sees something behind that face. Something grown ups do not have the ability to see.
How Does A Child See Us?
Forbiddance, famous forbiddance. When father or mother would say to child “don’t do that” or “don’t eat that”, it is most likely that child will do exactly that. From early age we have a need to break forbiddance. But if it is formulated, or said in a gentle tone, without any need for the child to listen to the parent, child will not do anything bad.
If it’s restless, let it go, most often that kind of child is inteligent. Most parents, in their ignorance, for obedient child say that it is good. However it is in fact scared or insecure. Of course there is from time to time, a good child which like that by nature, although being clever.
It is a mistake to beat or scold restless child, with it therefore being inteligent. And just that inteligence doesn’t let it make peace with everything it has been told.
Kids are born complex. Not to frighten, but fetus remembers everything. It is of most importance that mother is cheerful in her pregnancy.
However father also plays an important role, both parents play key role. Diet during pregnancy is not the only important thing. It is important what feelings she transfers to fetus.
Until third year, a childs mind is absorbing as sponge. It is important that it absorbs love and happiness from mother and father. It will be written in its mind, so it will search happiness and love in their marriage.
There are a lot types of child development methods on how to approach a restless child. And child development psychology plays a key role.
Restless kid can be a true nightmare. There are lot of characteristics that restless kids show, just like Dennis The Menace :
- full of energy
- constantly moving
It has need for attention and approvance that it is capable of doing anything it wants, therefore fighting the authority.
How to deal with restless child?
Restless kids shouldn’t be punished. In other words it is counterproductive, which many psychologists will say. Its attention and energy should be directed, through game being taught obediance.
If parents, due to lack of time to adequately spend time with restless child, want to help it and direct it the right way, additional activites can be organized. Choice is limitless, and depends on childs interests.
For instance, signing them up on some sports, or getting them to draw.
Restless child is good to direct towards sport or any other activity which involves large number of participants. In that way, child is directed and is met with rules which teach it patience. After that, sport is also good for channeling and spending energy.
Pay close attention if your child has to get itself dirty while playing, experiment with food, play with mud or sand, or just likes to doodle the walls. According to Froyd, this is sublimination, or mechanism of defence which channels artistic energy.
Reccomendation is that, instead of getting nervous and counterproductive attempts to “restrain” their child, find out what their affinity is.
Bad Tempered Kids
It is important how to deal with kids temper tantrums. Child with bad temper should be approached in the right way. This is very important for child development.
So, your child has temper? Well, I have news for you, you are a happy parent. Truth is that tempered kids can be a challenge for inexperienced and young parents. However, if those parents are well informed, and put in work into growing temepered child, I can almost promise you it will grow up into great and intelligent teenager.
With inner motivation and great moving power, these kids, when they put their mind to something they often realize it. If parents resist their own need to “bring them to order”, kids with temper often become leaders in various spheres of life. Society, sport, career.
What is A Child With Bad Temper?
What is in fact tempered child? Some parents that find it hard to deal with that kind of kids, will say that their child is stubborn. But, those kids should be looked at like kids with strong character which will grow up to be a person of integrity, a person you cannot impose opinion on.
Kid with temper wants to experience life on their own, rather than accepting on a plate what is served to them. They desperately want to be masters of their own fate, and sometimes will put their desire to be right put on the first place.
When they get an idea, they can hardly think of something else untill they see it through.
Tempered kids have strong feelings, and show them that way, living life to the fullest.
Quite often, child with temper is prone to arguing with parents. But keep in mind that it takes two for argument.
You don’t have to react with shouting every time a child provokes you. Take a deep breath, and remind yourself that it is possible to not make an argument into fighting.
Don’t let your kid provoke you that much that you yourself start acting as a child.
Parents that carefully observe their kids and their behavior, can avoid fights even if they have tempered child. It can be done by showing understanding for their attitudes and desires while setting boundaries. Giving kids possibility of choice and provide with alternative. Undestanding that respect must be mutual. Therefore forgetting the sentence “Because I Say So”.
By seeking solution with which the child and the parent will be satisfied, instead of one way rule making. You will achieve two things. Your kid will not be explosive anymore because it will not have the need to be. You have just shown that kids opinion is important also. This will teach the child with basic skills of negotiation and achieving compromise.
Tempered kids sense that their integrity is exposed when they are forced to comply to your will. But, if you give them a choice, alternative, a feeling that they have a say in something, they will cooperate with pleasure.
If these kind of advices bother you, because obedience and discipline is more important than respecting its character, think again.
Of course that your desire is to raise an responsible, reasonable, carefull child which can do the right thing even when it is the hardest thing to do. But that doesn’t imply being obedient. It implies that child will do the right thing because it understands why that is the best way to solve the problem, not because you said so.
Success is seeing your child choose the right path, no matter what you advised. Obedience is when child is doing what it is told, no matter if it is the right thing to do.
Conclusion Of Tempered Child Development
So, of course you will want that your kid does what you advise it. But not because it is obedient. You want your child to listen to you because it trusts you. Because it knows, that even if you cannot please it, it is because you are doing the best for it.
For sure you want your kid to have self discipline and take responsibility, which is smart enough to know who to trust and to whom to allow to have say in its attitude.
However, if you still decide that for any price, raise obedient child, you will break its will and temper and leave it without defence shield for other peoples influence who most of the time do not want the best for your kid. Futhermore, this is betrayal of vow we make that day when we became parents.
In conclusion, tempered kids can be energetic, restless, persistent and difficult to manage. But if you help them the right way, they will become far more capable, succesfull than obedient kids.
Child Development – Reasons To Be Happy If Your Child Is Restless And Naughty
Although many parents dream of perfect, smart, decent and quiet kids – psychologists suggest that naughy behavior can attribute to their pleasure in life. Therefore, when you have the feeling that kid is losing control, it is probably for the best to take a deep breath, and evaluate how it affects their development.
Here are reasons you shouldn’t be scared if you child is restless and naughty, and have no fear how it affects their development.
#1 – They Are Independent And Know How To Express Themselves
Every child has it own unique personality and way of interacting with the world. However, if parents constantly try to mold the child, it can suffer from problems of self expression and may not be capable of deciding its desires.
On the other hand, naughty kids are not afraid to show their character and independance, even if they are judged because of that.
#2 – It’s Childs Way Of Exploring The World
Kids use their emotions for interaction with the world. They are extremelly sensitive, like to be loud and can’t sit for a minute. If parents force their kids to be silent and show no initiative, they lose opportunity to explore the world. Devilish kids will most likely become curious people, because their desire is not crushed.
#3 – It’s Childs Natural Pattern Of Behavior
Most children are extremely active and a little bit naughty. It is part of the human nature. They have no fear of showing their emotions, and use every experience to the fullest. Sometimes they can go to far. However, if child is behaving loud and crazy, that means it is full of confidence and happiness.
#4 – They Process Their Emotions Better
Restless kids find it easier to stay connected to their emotions and understand roots of their behavior when they grow up. These kids show maturity more often when emotions are in question. They understand that emotions are important part of life, and they learn to recognize and acknowledge other peoples emotions.
#5 – These Children Do Not Listen What Other People Say
These children do not ask for permition. They know what is good for them, and are not afraid to follow their own road. They know, even if they fail, that it is not the end of the world, and that there is no situation which cannot be resolved. Kids are not afraid to look silly or be critisized because they know their opinion is what matters the most.
#6 – They Feel No Pressure For Other Peoples Criteria
Devilish children do not suppress their emotions, because they know that their parents will love them no matter what. These kids grow up in the atmosphere of security and their parents usually have enough strenght to cope with them. They give their kids enough emotional support, and are capable of teaching them how to behave, without suppressing their personality.
#7 – These Kids Solve Problems Better
Obedient kids usually suffer from over approving when they become grown ups. Naughty kids are more spontaneous and are capable of trying different approach to get out of trouble. They are more resilient to stress and can stand up for themselves.
#8 – Restless Kids Are More Creative
These kids have limitless imagination and are more likely to try out their ideas. As grown ups, these kids show creative approach in every spheres of live and know that every situation has two sides. They are not afraid to express themselves and know that other peoples opinion won’t affect their life much.
#9 – They Know They Are Perfect Just Like The Way They Are
Naughty kids know they deserve to be unconditinally loved, and there is no need to try to earn love with their “nice” behavior. They are certain that they are good enough already and have nothing to prove. That doesn’t mean they are not trying to be better, but they are doing that for themselves, not to please others.
I surely hope my text has helped you realize that child development can have two sides. Do not try to be overly protective and demanding. Instead be happy that your kids are sometimes more naughty than you were, and learn to love them just like the way they are.